relationship blues

so i had been dating this girl for the past 4 months, which we agreed to end this past tuesday at diddy riese in westwood of all places. it was quite the amicable parting, as the writing was on the wall for the better part of the last month, which helped soften the blow. but it sure didn't make my cookie taste any better...

anyhoot, rather than sit around and mope about it, i figure the best thing i can do is make light of the situation (what i do best) and in the process, look back and realize just how foolish and naive i was, haha. remember, this is for your entertainment, not mine, so i'm being the bigger man here.

a quick recap of the particulars: me - a dashing, talented and quick-witted chap with a litany of useful (and useless) skills - please refrain from laughter, thanks - who resides on the westside. her - an attractive nurse and current grad student of the same nationality who resides in the san fernando valley. she was on summer break for the first three months, but started up school (and a vigorous work schedule) in late september, curiously the exact time things started going south.

here are a few signs (painful in remembrance, believe me) that things aren't going your way:

* when she spends more time looking at her phone than at you.

* when she doesn't initiate spending time with you. i've been fortunate enough in the past to not always have to ask, so i was going paranoid wondering if she even wanted to. she never said no, but a little indication would have been great. lesson learned.

* during a night of karaoke, i saw that her roommate texted her to see how the night was going. "great" or "it doesn't matter what we're doing, i just like hanging out w/brian" or "call the ambulance because i consumed too many sake bombs" all would have been perfectly acceptable answers. her response? "it's karaoke." ouch.

* after three months of dating, i told her that i liked her and enjoyed spending time with her. when i asked how she thought things were going, she dropped this gem: "i haven't really thought about it." OMG talk about having your heart ripped out, wow. i mean, that's something you say when your dad asks you what you want for lunch, NOT after spending time exclusively with someone for three months. needless to say, i was dumbfounded at the response and decided to soldier on for the sake of the rest of the evening. at this point, it was pretty clear i was #346 on her hierarchy. maybe even #347...

* when you cook dinner, and have to extract her from a textbook to tell her that the food is ready. i thought i was eating by myself it was so lonely. but hey, at least she offered to do the dishes, right? uh no. i basically prepped, cooked, cleaned and amused myself for three hours during this excruciating evening. i seriously think i had a better time getting my wisdom teeth removed. at least then i was numb from the pain... XD

* when you lightly caress her arm in bed and she replies by saying "wow, you must really be bored." um, yeah. [sniff, sniff]

* for her birthday, i decided to - ill-advised, obviously - make her a scrapbook of memories that only took me six weeks to complete. let's just say that i got a better response from the girl at paper source (where i picked up some paper and trinkets to put it together) than i did from the birthday girl. she was literally tearing up at the cash register she thought it was so thoughtful. again, this was A TOTAL STRANGER.

ok, so now that i'm feeling horrible about myself, i'm starting to choke up, sheesh. looking back, it's so difficult to remain objective when you're in the throes of a relationship, as the affairs of the heart can make one look really dumb. i mean, i consider myself a pretty perceptive fellow but even i couldn't think clearly and coherently about how i was being treated. i mean, what kind of idiot was i to think this behavior was acceptable? and to me? in any case, onwards and upwards as they say! i deserve better, damn it.

SF conservatory of music - cover boy

that's right peeps. if you had to guess which photogenic, musically-inclined member of the lhee family would make cover on the san francisco conservatory of music's annual program, one might guess my violin-wielding sister, natch.

guess again bitches! whoo hoo! and i'm bringing the rice bowl back in 2009!

hiking - rustic canyon loop

this morning i decided to venture over to will rogers state historic park to hike the rustic canyon loop, which covers about 6 miles total. first thing to be aware of is, parking is a whopping $12 (!?!) to enter the park, so the ranger was kind enough to direct me to a spot a few hundred yards away where one can park for free. i hoofed it to will's old house, where the trail to inspiration point begins. it's a scant 0.9 miles up, so i wasn't too impressed yet with the climb or the view.

but there's a turnoff to the backbone trail leading into topanga state park, and that's where the fun began. about a 1/2 mile up, there's a neat wooden bridge that crosses over chicken ridge, until you hit an unmarked turnoff to head down rustic canyon. from there, it's a 1/2 mile downhill boulder-hopping until reaching a dilapidated cabin that rogers and friends used to kick it at.

from here it gets dicey. it's another 2 miles of hugging the streambed downstream to get back to the polo grounds of the park, but the trail kind of disappears and who knows where i was headed. luckily, i heard some voices nearby, so i asked for help and they invited me to come along. it turns out that they were a small group of expedition trekkers (www.trainingadventure.com), so instead of taking the easy way back to the park, they took me on a 2 mile detour of unsanctioned trails that only they knew, so we took turns running uphill and jumping over creeks in the wild country. let's just say that if i didn't run into them, i still might be there now.

the group was very friendly, and it turns out that some participated in the eco challenge (from mark burnett, before 'survivor'), some do triathlons, some do kayaking expeditions, etc., so it was a great mix of people that just love the outdoors. i'm definitely going to hit up their site and see if there are any upcoming events that i can join...